Monday, December 5

In sickness and in health

(I noticed I havent post this on blog, it was on my MEMO, so let me just leave this here)

29 August 2016, 11.27 AM

I've been admitted into hospital since Wednesday, August 24, I was expected to go through surgery on Thursday nak buang apendiks but something came up so they delayed the surgery on Friday lah pulak. Faisal turun melaka from Shah Alam, around 12 lebih macam tu baru dapat jumpa dia during visiting hour. I can tell that he's worried sick bila tahu I akan go through operation. My parents and a few other relatives pun paid a visit after they heard the news. At 430 pm, Faisal datang lagi and waited until 7 pm. Dah habis waktu melawat, salam salam mak abah and they told me everything will be okay jangan risau sangat. Faisal sat still beside me and just stare at me.... lama. I asked him if he could stay tapi dia cakap dia kena balik. 

Somehow i sedih sebab :
1. He had to leave 
2. He'll be far away 
3. I wont be seeing him tomorrow after surgery dah settle 

I began to cry because I couldnt hold it back. He looked at me effortlessly but I bet his mind viciously think of where would he be staying for the night. Then Faisal cakap 'ok i stay, takpa'. Right then I felt guilty for being a crybaby and a nuisance. At 8 pm, doktor buat check up, dia suruh I bukak puasa padahal I dah puasa dari pukul 2 pagi. 18 hours I tak makan tak minum apa apa, and they didnt provide me food. The nurses suruh makan apa yang ada and I only have biscuits. I had to call Faisal and ask if he could buy me food. Again, I felt horrible sebab kena susahkan dia hantar makanan. I went off my bed nak pergi ambik air plus risau if he couldnt get through mak guard kat pintu masuk wad so I waited for him at the front room. Masatu I can still walk like normal people tak sakit teruk sangat. Then I saw Faisal walking towards me sambil pegang bubur ayam MCD.. His face was full of worries, tambah dgn muka penat. I couldnt hold my tears sebab terharu so I nangis when he said goodbye, take care, I love you.

The next day, I masih tunggu call from operation room. I puasa lagi from 12 am sebab I tidur awal. At 1230 pm faisal cakap dia dah gerak masuk hospital, right at that moment there was this nurse, she came to me sambil bawak baju putih, she asked me to change my clothes. That time I dah start shivering, my hands and feet sejuk macam ais because I was so scared, worried and anxious. The patient next to my bed started crying because she was scared too. The moment I lay down at the wheeled hospital bed I started to think macam macam. I couldnt stop berzikir because at that time I fikir what if today was my last day. Dahla banyak dosa dengan tuhan. Hospital melaka is near to Masjid al Azim; it was Friday & waktu they pushed me into operation room, ayat-ayat al quran yang orang masjid pasang sebelum solat Jumaat soothed out my feelings. Somehow like telling me it's going to be fine.

The operation room was as cold as ice. The doctors started to pasang things here and there, put on breathing mask, ask me to breathe in breathe out, baca doa & dua kalimah syahadah, cucuk bius and everything turned dark. The next thing I know one of the doctors pat my shoulder suruh I sedarkan diri. That moment wallahi, I senyum & praised Allah for giving me another chance to live because we never know when is our last. I felt so sleepy, my head was spinning plus tekak rasa loya nak muntah probably bius masih kuat lagi and honestly I couldnt feel my legs and couldnt move my hands.

Setiap kali I terjaga I tried to move my legs, I tried to see things clearly sebab sumpah it was all blurry. The moment I rasa kaki I boleh gerak, I terus panggil doktor and tanya what time was it. Terkejut weh it was 4 pm, I rasa sekejap sangat dalam bilik operation sebab I passed out tak sedarkan diri langsung.

They transferred me back to my ward & baring kan I slowly atas katil. I terus capai phone dalam laci & whatsapp my family & faisal. While waiting for them to come at 430 pm waktu melawat, I took a quick nap. Masatu rasa nak tiduuuuuur je.

"Sayang.... bangun." I celik mata terus nampak Faisal on the right side of my bed. His face appeared sad and gloomy. He sat next to me and just stare quietly. It was so peaceful and my heart was content. At 5 pm everyone started to come and visit. Thank you for those who pay me a visit, sincerely. I couldn't ask for more.

That night I tidur awal sangat, the whole day I mengantuk gila. I terjaga pukul 1 pagi sebab nurse kejut orang sebelah pergi operation room. Alhamdulillah dah lepas surgery, dah tak rasa takut so I macam tenang dan relaks je. I check phone and I received this long text from Faisal.

"I've seen you at your weakest condition. I betul tak sampai hati nk tinggalkan u smlm. Sbb tu i pilih utk stay satu mlm. Then bila u ckp u lapar, pastu u mintak tlg tu i tau mesti u nk mkn. Takkan i nk biar u berlapar? Walaupun jauh sket dr tmpt i duduk, i pegi jugak hntr makanan dkt u. Dpt jumpa kejap, then u nangis. Lg la buat i tak sampai hati nk balik. Kalau boleh peluk, dah peluk awk dah smlm. I tried my best to be there for you when you need me, when there's no one that could help you. I'm not a hero, not even a saint. I just want you to feel better. I'm happy that i met you even not like always, but it's you. I don't care what condition, walaupun kejap jumpa, tp i sgt happy. Alhamdulillah semuanye okay. I sgt risaukan u. I risau kalau smlm tu last i jumpa u. Hanya Allah je tau ape i rasa time tu, time td masa u ckp nk operate dah. I rasa sgt bersyukur bila u whatsapp i. I sayangkan u sgt2 sayang. Lg 48days kte nk kawin. Can't wait for that moment. I'm so excited! And i mintak maaf kalau ade kekurangan dkt i. I dah cuba yg terbaik."

Wallahi, this is the saddest text I ever received.

It was painful to get off from bed, it was painful to sit, it was painful to lay back in bed and it was terribly painful to even walk straight. I discharged on Saturday and still recovering.

Alhamdulillah for another chance to live..... all better now.

Monday, October 31

Part 3: Bertandang #adahxfaisal

Prep before bertandang
Date: 23rd October 2016
Time: 0845 am
Venue: Homestay TTDI Apartment

The day before, I send gambar kat makndam. I wanted her to do my makeup sama macam dalam gambar untuk kenduri belah Shah Alam because I fikir dia official MUA so she must've been so talented, petik jari she can makeup macam yang I nak. That morning was a disaster, her makeup was. She GLUED my entire brows and redraw them, I cuba husnuzon that it was going to be okay in the end. Bila dah siap makeup, she asked me okay ke tak. Wallahi, I felt like crying the moment I tengok cermin. I said my eyebrows nampak pelik, nampak garang. Dia cakap "ala nanti dalam gambar nampak cantik"

I didnt trust her AT ALL FOR GOD SAKE. Muka I kelabu, my lip color gelap gila and my brows, ya Allah my brows macam sakai. Boleh nampak lah how i dislike her makeup, dia boleh lagi tanya ok ke tak. If i said tak ok we didnt have much time to redo the makeup pun. 

Time makndam tengah siapkan suami, I whatsapp suami yang I nak balik rumah sebab I nak ambik my makeups, obviously because I nak repair. It was 1130 am at that time tau and my family kena be at the dewan pukul 12. 

That morning was pretty messed up. The moment I reached home, I grabbed some of my makeup and terus put them all in one bag, lari masuk kereta then terus gerak homestay semula. We both managed to be there on time because from homestay to rumah like 10 minutes macamtu tau. I just tambah eyeshadow and changed my lip color. Makndam tu tak highlight and contour my face ok, highlighter is LIFE tau tak?! Muka I tak glowy and shimery langsung. So yeah, I did what I did cuma rasa terkilan because I tak tahu how to fix my eyebrows sebab takut I'll make it look even worse nanti.
Once we reached homestay everyone dah turun bawah tengah tunggu the rest of my relatives untuk gerak sekali rombongan.

The whole damn day I rasa kening I macam witch. Lega gila dapat basuh makeup because nak solat Zohor. Finally felt like myself again without those hideous eyebrows. Honestly my eyebrows nampak macam ahli sihir. Agak terkilan bila tengok gambar yang photographer bagi. Gambar lawa but the makeup macam sakai because of the eyebrows and thick fake lashes tulah, haih what a life. So here are some of the selected photos which to me presentable lah kot haha. 

 Ahh finally.... that's me

So that was all. All the guests made my day better even when I dont feel like looking like myself. The weather was just nice, tak panas sangat and it didnt rain pun on that day.

That night Faisal told me about how he felt the moment I whatsapp dia pagi tu bila I cakap I balik nak ambik makeup. He said "adoi dia ni nak buat kerja gila lagi lah ni" to me because sebelum ni pun I pernah buat kerja gila jugak. Couple of times, maybe.... Afterall, he only wanted the best for me and dia cakap dia taknak tengok I masam muka on our second big day. I know I'm crazy, but he loves me. I taknak jadi nuisance but I just want the best hmmm *facepalm


Outdoor Photoshoot 
Date: 23rd October 2016
Time: 0500 pm
Venue: Bukit Jelutong behind Zawara Cafe

My heels koyak because I tak beli heels baru pun. Resepsi 15/10 haritu sewa baju dengan Mentari dapat full siap kasut sekali. I'm using flats je haha sedih

Thats the last of it. Thank you Mr. Fauzan Alwi the photographer of the day.

Being pengantin was pretty rough, mental kena kuat and kena multitask. Sekarang ni bila tengok pengantin/orang nak kahwin, jadi rindu nak buat prep and not to mention counting for the long awaited day. May our marriage fill with so much joy and happiness, be blessed and may our hearts are attached close to one another. May we both be loving each other endlessly for the sake of Allahu taala. 

I pray to those who's getting married in near future, have sabr, be patient. Insya Allah, everything will be okay to both of you. See you guys on my last post pasal kahwin kahwin ni haha i'll update when I ada masa. Toodles!

Thursday, October 27

Part 2 : Resepsi #adahxfaisal

Venue: Dewan Stadium Hang Jebat
Date: 15 October 2016
Time: 1115 am

"Pakteh bagi kamu masa sampai 12 pm nak bersiap." 
How kelam kabut! Kena get ready dalam tempoh masa yang pakteh bagi, tak cukup masa kot. As we reached Faisal's homestay, jadi lagi kelam kabut bila I kena siapkan suami all by myself. Pakaikan samping, & buatkan bunga on the right side of his pinggang PHEWW THAT WASNT AS EASY AS I THOUGHT! Nasib baik makndam from Mentari Kreatif (our andaman which we rent the baju pengantin from) taught me how to put it on him. I siap rakam video tutorial but still kesian kat suami his samping tak berapa kemas. 

Aqila (MUA) betulkan my eye part and tukar sikit my lip color pastu we realize that time was ticking so fast me and Faisal jadi lagi jadi gelabah gila. Or was it just me? I pakai baju, tudung, veil all by myself and both of us had to drag some time until its 1230 pm. Dalam kereta, pakteh cakap "kalau 1240 tadi kamu tak siap lagi, pakteh dah ketuk pintu dah. Kesian orang nanti tunggu lama"

STRESS WOI. Masa tak cukup langsung as if that day masa bukan berjalan, dia dah pandai berlari! 

We managed to arrive at the dewan dalam pukul 1. Terus masuk dewan and dapat makan, yay! Honestly lauk sedap gila but my corset ketat nak mampuih, I had to eat so little. Sumpah if i didnt pakai corset i makan sampai kenyang. The funny thing was, I punya perut growling all the time not to mention how gassy it was inside my perut to the point I kena tahan kentut the whole day haha k fani sangat kan? hmmm

 Faisal peluk mummy like he didnt want to let go. 

 My girls (housemate)

 Three down, one to go!

 Orang kuat majlis. Thank you mak abah, my family, friends and all! I couldnt thank enough after all that you did just to make this day goes well and smooth.


Outdoor Photoshoot 
Venue: Pantai Puteri
Date: 15 October 2016
Time: 0530 pm 

And that's a wrap! I'll update the third post for my majlis bertandang once I dapat gambar from photographer nanti. My last post nanti I nak share all the tips like baju nikah dari mana, baju resepsi from which andaman and katering so on so forth lah. Korang stay tuned ok! :*