I wanna do some self reflecting and self loving. You can continue reading if youre having the same situation dan kalau bukan pun read or leave, its up to you.
Last night was really stressful that i cried myself to sleep and how faisal couldnt go to bed bcs hes too damn worried about me being how i was yesterday. I hate when i dah mula overthinking that everything seems so wrong, i'm so stupid and ugly and my existence is so useless. I was so insecure and i hate the fact that i gained a few kgs. My confident level just got washed down the drain and everyone else seems to look effortless and then theres me looking like a weird potato.
Heres the thing. Youre not fat! You gained weight. And its only 1.5kg from 70kg. Youre not fat and you should have the courage to say it infront of the mirror. You should feel pretty inside and out. And its not the matter of being perasan cantik yada yada but if being perasan cantik can help you boost up your confidence. Go and talk to urself depan cermin "ko cantik, Tuhan yang cipta ko tau? Kenapa hina diri sendiri ni!"
Fret not, after raya nanti kan youre gonna start your gym routine balik? Your body needs rest. Your body pun tahu letih sebab tu taknak turun dah below 70kg. Lu rilek lepas raya lu workout je. Ada lagi a few months before graduation day. And for raya.... well um if you look so damn large dalam gambar tell urself that its completely okay! Bcs bila you reach your goal nanti you boleh compare urself now and then. I know im right dont debate! *pointing finger at myself*
You see, even you dont like your physical now, faisal will always and still loves you anyway! I really dont know how he puts up with my insecurities everytime i rasa insecure. His continuous supports gonna help me reach my goal someday. Sayang, thank you tau? I know youre going to read this (bcs i told you so bahaha)
Love yourself. Talk to yourself often and just be yourself. You dont have to copy someone to be someone? Get what i'm saying?????
And if someone copies you then you should know youre above them. Just dont stop. Be confident in whatever you do! Be crazy, laugh your heart out and dont make fun of your body. Bcs in the end, that'll turn into-- you overthinking everything and youre hurting yourself lah so thats a big no no!
Set up goals (u see,tumblr is good u know u boleh berangan kejap and mana tahu some of the pics can help u change ur life innit?), everytime you wake up please please please smile so all the positivity goes to you and think of all the small things God has given you throughout your 22 years of living. Jangan give up! Dont slouch sit straight up and be confident with your own skin. What youre thinking is what you should and would wanna be!
Love yourself, love yourself, love yourself. Because youre worth it. And dont let anyone tell you differently. Ok? Now cheer up and breathe fresh air!
Sincerely, your positive mind