Sunday, December 20
Thursday, December 10
I honestly wanted to further my studies but not in accounting la i'd be crazy. Accounting dgn i tak ada chemistry. PERIOD. Most probably i sambung degree after i got married to faisal (WEY I JUST SAID THAT MALAS NAK PADAM OK) and was thinking of taking International Business because currently i tengah run a small business on Instagram. Lepastu, i rasa i lagi interested and has more passion kot if i further course tu..........
I just hope our plans and everything goes out smoooooooooooooth and easy! Nak kahwin la, dah hampir empat tahun bercinta as boyfriend-girlfriend, penat tau faisal nak travel to melaka from shah alam, dengan tol rate makin naik, tuang minyak lagi apa semua. ITS COSTLY TAU (tapi ada bini pun kena keluar duit jugak but thank god i bukan kaki kikis harta suami) So yeah, I nak settle down and just have my own family dengan faisal next year. If it becomes a reality, i senyum sampai syurga hari hari tau!
(NAMPAK TAK I BORAK RANDOM GILA)
Its just sad that, I DONT HAVE PROPER PICTURES OF ME ON MY GRADUATION DAY BECAUSE IT RAINED #sadlife :')
Wednesday, November 18
Monday, November 16
Bila kau rasa kau lagi bagus dan lagi best dari orang thats when youre wrong and gurl, if youre trying so hard to prove people that youre living a good life, thats when you have none.
Might as well, you TRULY live your life and tak perlu nak try hard sangat lah eh?
Thursday, October 29
Saturday, October 24
Always know your worth and love your body 💕😘
Thursday, October 22
Sunday, August 23
I always worry about my future. Aku jadi apa, kerja apa, dekat mana aku kerja, hidup senang ke susah, aku kahwin dengan faisal ke tak, aku tinggal dekat mana, aku pakai kereta apa and the list goes on. Most of all, aku happy ke tak dengan life aku tu nanti?
Ive been through a lot of rejection and heart breaks and no bukan relating to love life. I got rejected for bachelor in Accounting since my result pun ayam ayam, aku rasa pemeriksa tu fikir aku buat kerja gila sambung accounting padahal i suck at it like major. I heard from faisal ramai yang failing papers even pegang title ANC masa diploma dulu. And then theres me result pun tak bagus mana. Perumpamaan nya macam tengah gamble nak terjun gaung. Even so, aku masih dapat peluang sambung marketing but i get a lot of advice supaya jangan further course tu. Wallahi at first aku rasa rezeki Allah ada dekat mana mana tapi sekarang ni pun susah nak cari job vacancy untuk Accounts Assistant kot sedangkan semua tahu kerja in an accounting field paling high demand.
So i decided untuk tak further degree. I asked my mum beforehand. Dia pun lagi setuju aku kerja, kumpul duit dan kahwin dari sambung marketing. Belum cerita hutang ptptn lagi bila fikir hutang diploma pun dah bertimbun nak tambah hutang degree aku terus rasa demotivated sangat.
Sekarang ni, things are beyond my control. Semua benda macam over the place and tbh kepala aku ni rasa benak fikir macam macam dalam satu masa. I just hope everything will turn out fine and no more worries dah lah. Penat lah berfikir ni. I macam nak jadi carefree and dgaf about anything but then i memang seorang manusia yang suka berfikir and sometimes terlebih fikir.
Again, everything is going to be okay. Sooner or later, eventually it will kan? Say, yes.
Wednesday, July 29
I used to believe in the myths 'kalau pakai makeup dengan sangat kerap nanti hilang seri pengantin' 'jangan pakai makeup nanti muka bla bla bla'
Seri pengantin comes naturally, kalau pakai makeup setiap hari pun you shouldnt be concerned about her at all. Biarlah dia nak tepek apa dekat muka. Every bride memang akan nampak cantik on her big day. Pengantin tetap akan sparkle even ada bridesmaid/pengapit trying to overshadow, she still the prettiest on her wedding day.
The thing is, if you wanna wear makeup just go for it. Jangan dengar cakap orang. And i tak rasa my face after makeup nampak macam drag queen pun. Bagi i less is more. Jangan sampai tabarruj ya remember that
I want my wedding makeup to be so natural. And bcs faisal memang tak suka perempuan with so much makeup. He likes it better when i embrace my beauty and my bare face.
Saturday, July 25
Have you ever like sit still and stop the time for a minute or two, and just look around? Look at those people who have been living with you. Your family to be precise.
I had a fight with my brother just now entah apa dia buat he scattered my baju yang baru je lipat kat atas lantai. Bengang tu bengang jugak lah. I membebel macam nenek sebab geram sangat.
Then, i went down stairs cari album lama nak tunjuk faisal gambar i masa toddler dulu. As i turned those pages, sampai lah kat page where my brother punya gambar baby pun tersimpan kat dalam album yang sama bcs i tak banyak gambar masa baby so we shared the same photo album.
Tiba tiba, rasa sebak.
Idk. Because 13 years of living with danial, i can say that i'm not really a good sister for my brother. I selalu rotan dia, cubit peha dia kalau dia degil and boleh kata i layan dia tak berapa baik. Bukan benci. Tapi jengkel.
I didnt realise that as i am getting older my brother pun at the same time growing into a teenager. Masa berjalan cepat sangat. From that little mischievous toddler with that tiny feet, main kejar kejar dalam rumah to a teenage boy who now asked siapa presiden negara sekian sekian dan kat mana terletaknya sekian sekian tempat dalam Rusia. You dont ask me bruh. I dunno. Dulu i main barbie so dia memang paling selalu kacau & sepahkan the whole set.
I just hope when hes older he'll stalk my blog and read this post. I may have scold you, pinch you, call you a nigga or african boy or "mak pungut kau tepi jalan" but you should know that orang sayang kau.
Nanti orang dah kahwin, jaga mak abah elok elok. Tolong mak buat kerja rumah, basuh pinggan, sidai baju semua jangan eat sleep game repeat, orang tunjal dahi kau nanti. Nanti mesti danial rindu nasi goreng cina orang, so datang rumah orang nanti kau request lah eh haha
Friday, July 24
Somehow long distance relationship really is hard. At times, I have to convince myself things will get better bcs we both will kahwin sooner or later (insya Allah pray for us kay?) Hence, lepas dah kahwin nanti i'll get to see faisal everyday, every morning, every night and every minute of my existence for my entire life. Sometimes, i have to convince myself that we'll meet again, so we both make plans and usually I yang made all the plans nak pergi mana, nak buat apa, makan dekat mana yada yada. Everytime i akan convince myself that we can go through long distance relationship and we both will get through this test eventually! Tapi kadang I have to tell myself "sabarlah, nanti jumpa jugak" when I see some of my friends upload a pic of them keluar dengan boyfriend, dapat berkualiti time together, dapat spend the day together. Terusik jugalah hati ni nak nak kalau tengah rindu gila.
(At times, when i doubt things, he'll convince me that everything will be okay. He'll secure me with his words so that i rasa elok balik)
But what i do know now,
Those happiness are so temporary sebab bila dapat jumpa pastu dapat spend time lepastu balik rumah masing masing dah tu baru beberapa saat kejap je dah rindu. No! 10 hours takkan pernah cukup ok??????? Tak pernah cukup! This is the longest period of time yang I tak jumpa faisal. Dah hampir dua bulan jugak rasanya not bcs dia tak boleh turun Melaka but my dad wont allow us to go on a date (which i bring my little brother along) during puasa. Its so different than masa diploma dulu. Even two months tak jumpa but we both know start sem baru we get to lepak kat dewan makan berborak like theres no tomorrow. Tapi this time.... we dont know.
So here I am missing him so much each and everyday.
I'm hoping for time to fast forward til the day we both get married and live happily together and forever. May Allah purify our intention and may this difficulties help us grow. Right now I fikir satu je, takpelah if we dont get to meet selalu macam zaman diploma dulu, tuhan sayang sebab tu tuhan jaga kita berdua. Kita repair diri kita dulu, touch up skill yang mana mana perlu. Marriage is a big thing; bukan untuk buat #relationshipgoals semata mata. Its more than just that.
Thursday, July 16
So, what are the things you need to do from the moment you wake up until you end your day?
Say Alhamdulillah bcs youve been given the chance to breathe again. You live bcs of Allah, you die bcs of Allah. Give thanks to Allah.
Pray. Pray that its going to be a lot better than yesterday. Pray for a good start of the day and ask Allah to make it easy for you and bless everything you do.
Smile. The moment you wake up, just smile. You smile bcs it will make you look younger, happier and its healthy. Absorb all the positive vibes, and outcast all the negativity. Smile can help you lessen your stress and magically can make you feel calm. Smile to anyone you see on that day and the rest of the days.
Change. If yesterday you were so grumpy try changing yourself slowly, be kind. If you somebody makes you really annoyed or angry, say nothing. Just be silent. Verily those who can control their tongue when they are angry are among the righteous.
Forgive. If someone makes you feel so angry, annoyed and sad, learn to forgive. So as the saying goes let bygones be bygones. Forgive people the same way you want Allah to forgive your sins. Forgive people the same way you want your mother to forgive your wrongdoings. You dont lose your pride forgiving or asking people to forgive you. You gain rewards instead. Be kind. Let all the pasts stay in the past. And start a new one. Ask for apologies and forgive those who has wronged you.
May Allah reward us with good health, a life full of His rahmah, the people who loves us and all the goodness fiddunya walakhirah.
Rabbana aatinafiddunya hasanah, waa fiil akhiratii hasanaah. Wa kiina adzabannaar
Wednesday, July 15
I wanna do some self reflecting and self loving. You can continue reading if youre having the same situation dan kalau bukan pun read or leave, its up to you.
Last night was really stressful that i cried myself to sleep and how faisal couldnt go to bed bcs hes too damn worried about me being how i was yesterday. I hate when i dah mula overthinking that everything seems so wrong, i'm so stupid and ugly and my existence is so useless. I was so insecure and i hate the fact that i gained a few kgs. My confident level just got washed down the drain and everyone else seems to look effortless and then theres me looking like a weird potato.
Heres the thing. Youre not fat! You gained weight. And its only 1.5kg from 70kg. Youre not fat and you should have the courage to say it infront of the mirror. You should feel pretty inside and out. And its not the matter of being perasan cantik yada yada but if being perasan cantik can help you boost up your confidence. Go and talk to urself depan cermin "ko cantik, Tuhan yang cipta ko tau? Kenapa hina diri sendiri ni!"
Fret not, after raya nanti kan youre gonna start your gym routine balik? Your body needs rest. Your body pun tahu letih sebab tu taknak turun dah below 70kg. Lu rilek lepas raya lu workout je. Ada lagi a few months before graduation day. And for raya.... well um if you look so damn large dalam gambar tell urself that its completely okay! Bcs bila you reach your goal nanti you boleh compare urself now and then. I know im right dont debate! *pointing finger at myself*
You see, even you dont like your physical now, faisal will always and still loves you anyway! I really dont know how he puts up with my insecurities everytime i rasa insecure. His continuous supports gonna help me reach my goal someday. Sayang, thank you tau? I know youre going to read this (bcs i told you so bahaha)
Love yourself. Talk to yourself often and just be yourself. You dont have to copy someone to be someone? Get what i'm saying?????
And if someone copies you then you should know youre above them. Just dont stop. Be confident in whatever you do! Be crazy, laugh your heart out and dont make fun of your body. Bcs in the end, that'll turn into-- you overthinking everything and youre hurting yourself lah so thats a big no no!
Set up goals (u see,tumblr is good u know u boleh berangan kejap and mana tahu some of the pics can help u change ur life innit?), everytime you wake up please please please smile so all the positivity goes to you and think of all the small things God has given you throughout your 22 years of living. Jangan give up! Dont slouch sit straight up and be confident with your own skin. What youre thinking is what you should and would wanna be!
Love yourself, love yourself, love yourself. Because youre worth it. And dont let anyone tell you differently. Ok? Now cheer up and breathe fresh air!
Sincerely, your positive mind
Sunday, July 12
Recite this Dua on the 25th of Ramadhan
Ya Allah, bless Muhammad and the family of Muhammad The (One) who made,the night a covering and the day for seeking livelihood, and the earth a resting place, and the mountains as pegs. Ya Allah, (the) Subduer, Ya Allah, (the) Most Powerful. Ya Allah, the All-Hearing. Ya Allah, (One who is) Near. Ya Allah, (the One) who answers.
Ya Allah, ya Allah, ya Allah, You have the most beautiful names the highest examples, the grandeur, the bounties.
I beseech You to bless Muhammad and the family of Muhammad, and place my name, in this night, among the fortunate, and my soul among the martyrs, let my good deeds be (written) in the ‘Illiyyin (Book of the virtuous), and my evil deeds be forgiven.
(And I beseech You to) grant me a certainty which gives joy to my heart, and a faith which drives doubt away from me, and make me pleased with what You have granted me.
(And I beseech You to) give us good in this world and good in the Hereafter, and save us from the punishment of the burning fire. (And I beseech You to) grant me in it (Laylatul Qadr)
Your remembrance, and Your gratitude, and desire for (pleasing) You, turning (to You for repentance), and success, for all that You have granted Muhammad and his family, peace be on him and on them ” – ❤
Saturday, July 11
When I say I want to travel I don’t mean I want to stay at resorts and go on tours with tour guides. I don’t want to be a tourist. When I say I want to travel I mean I want to explore another country and become a part of it.
I want to try new things, meet new people, explore new cultures, learn new traditions and breathe in the air of somewhere no one knows my name. I just want to get in the car and drive with no destination or plans. I want to walk on beaches in Fiji, Thailand, Australia and go cliff diving in Hawaii and Jamaica.
I want my mind to be in constant awe of life on earth. I want to see things with new eyes. I want to look at a map and be able to remember how I was transformed by the places I’ve been to, the things I’ve seen, and the people I’ve met.
I discovered that the things that made me happy were not things that would ever make me rich. I want to come home and realize that I have not come home whole, but have left a piece of my heart in each place I have been.
Home will always stay the same, but something in our minds will change, and that changes everything. I want to live and not just survive.”
– Veronica. S (viaunderthexsamexsky)
Thursday, July 9
The remarkable thing about enduring distressing circumstances is that they truly feel as though they’re never going to pass. Even as Muslims being given the guarantee that “Verily, with every hardship comes ease” (Quran 94:6) stressful eras tend to shake our faith.
Often we do our utmost to be as tolerant as possible, but feeling down in the dumps has the tendency to drag our patience levels down with us.
Nonetheless, it’s inevitable; there will be bumps in the road ahead. Some will be steeper than others, but that’s absolutely no reason to let yourself fall. There will come days in your life where waking up seems meaningless.
Things around you which typically enliven or make you feel joyful will cease to do so, and absolutely nothing can bring light to the darkness which has set into stone in your chest. These are the darkest, poignant and most lonesome times you as an individual may go through. And you’ll start to question, “why do good things have to end?”. We question the “ending” in life frequently, but what we aren’t grasping is the fact that the same “ending” which you curse, is the same “ending” which will bring you relief. You don’t dwell in a lifetime of pain and anguish because those tears won’t last. You can only shed so many tears for the same reason for so long, before they become drops of a different sadness or happiness. You don’t go through the same distress every single day because every single day is different.
Sure, the good times pass; the people leave; the success expires; the youth fades, but just as all good things in life end, so do all terrible things in life. Sickness gets cured; hard work results in reward; arguments get resolved; grieving over death eases; emotions change.
So we need to cultivate a respect for the “ending” of situations in life which we never realized to appreciate. Your laughter may not last, but be grateful that neither will your tears.
You may be a wreck today, but are you going to feel this way every single day in the next three years? Alhamdulillah Allah has blessed us with the time capacity of all things in this life.
Written by allahaljalil.tumblr.com
Wednesday, July 8
I wanna start a new life surrounded by positivity and i wanna avoid negativity
I pledge to not post anything negative and offensive
I wanna live my life to the fullest!
And i always wanna be optimistic and redha to what ever coming in my way
I wanna start all over and be a better version of me inside and out
I wanna travel the world with my husband
Capture all the moment by the beach as the sun sets and turns red
I wanna breathe in fresh air on top of the hill after a long night of mountain trekking
Putting my head onto his chest while we cuddle in blanket in front of campfire
I wanna hold his hands while i amusingly walking and running like a little baby as we enter Disneyland
I wanna skydive,
Go up on a hot air balloon ride
And snorkeling where the water is crystal clear
I wanna run into his arms at Lavenders farm
And i wanna grab onto him when we’re inside the cable car
I wanna pluck apples from trees
We should play hide and seek, you hide and i’ll find you because my heart knows where you’ll be
I want you to lift me up so that i can reach the sky up high
I wanna celebrate our anniversary by watching romantic movies or just dance to the melody of a love song
I wanna fly with you, be in a plane looking out of the window as the clouds are beneath us
I wanna love you forever
I wanna be with you forever
I wanna live with you
Me and you, in this world and afterlife together
To infinity and beyond
Sunday, July 5
Sunday, June 28
Friday, June 26
Tuesday, June 2
Tuesday, April 21
Thursday, March 12
Friday, February 6
Hi, well sebenar nya aku rasa curious. Kenapa ada segelintir orang makan jamu makan pil kurus minum air untuk kurus just like that boleh turun berkilo kilo tapi bila aku i have to work really hard pergi gym bermandikan peluh, jogging, cut down my appetite plus portion makanan kurangkan and all eh?
Aku cemburu dengan orang yang senang gila turun berat badan like srsly cemburu.
Before this i've tried loads of things untuk kurus. Aku jogging, skipping, main badminton, buat home workout, zumba, aerobics and all kind of exercises lah senang cerita. Tapi tetap susah nak turun.
This time i have found that determination i've once lost. And this time aku nak work my ass off just to get my old body back! And i aint gonna stop til that scale points at 60 or below
I'll prove something insya Allah. Insya Allah there will be an improvement!
Thursday, February 5
Monday, January 19
Thursday, January 8
Umur 22 tahun tak bermaksud all the fun stuff aku kena ketepikan sebab memang sifat budak budak dalam diri aku dah tak boleh nak buang. Alah takkan nak serius nak grumpy setiap masa pulak. Ada masa kena fikir matang selaras dengan usia. Ada masa jadi lah budak budak jadi lah terejal jadi lah mengada-ngada.
Aku tak mintak banyak, aku cuma nak Tuhan sempatkan aku rasa hidup bermandikan peluh cari duit sebab nak repay kerja keras parents yang dah penat lelah raising aku yang serba serbi rebelious dan troublesome.
Aku nak Tuhan sempatkan aku kahwin dengan orang yang paling aku sayang. Sebab aku nak tunggu dia kat pintu syurga nak hidup sama dalam syurga hmm jiwang kan hm sikit je ala bagilah can!
Aku nak Tuhan sempatkan aku experience baby dalam perut. Bila tapak kaki kecil dia setepek nampak kat perut, bila dia bergerak aku jerit "abang, tengok ni!" Pastu berkejaran husband aku dapatkan perut aku, pegang, pastu bagi salam pastu kecewa sebab baby dah tak gerak sebab baby lagi sayang ibu dari ayah dia. Bila baby keluar, ayah dia punya excited nampak jelas. Diazan/iqamah kan baby depan mata kepala. SubhanAllah!
Aku nak Tuhan sempatkan semua.
Just when youre about to give up dengan life kau yang konon nya miserable, kau ingat je nikmat Tuhan yang dulu, yang sekarang dan yang bakal kau dapat. Insya Allah kau rasa bahagia dan cukup ☺
Oh and happy 22nd birthday to myself. Alhamdulillah wa syukurillah ��